Dear Cameron: Month Twelve (You're ONE!!!)

Dear Cameron,

Guess what? You're officially a one year-old now!

I am still in awe that God gave you to me and daddy and that we get to be your parents. We are so lucky!

In the last year you've learned a lot! From simple things, like how to nurse... to the more complicated things like taking two steps on your own on your first birthday (daddy and I both saw it and our jaws dropped!).

Mommy learned a lot in the last year too. This past year you've taught me:

Patience - I've always had pride in the amount of patience I've had and in the past year you sure did test it (only a few times though). In the times that you did challenged mommy on tough days, you taught me to take a deep breath, press on, and smile, because everything will be okay.

Selflessness - Your Uncle Sean asked me one day "How do you know when you're ready to be a parent?" I told him that when you're ready and willing to happily put anything you want second or even third to someone elses and put a someone elses' needs above yours and their beck and call, then you're ready to be a parent. In the last year I've learned to eat my cold dinner, still in my work clothes at 8:15pm after you've gone to sleep. I've learned to go into work in the morning without makeup and unfancy hair because I would rather play and spend time with you instead of impress people in the office. Mostly I've learned that I would do anything for you. I would die for you my sweet angel.

Unconditional love - I used to think I knew what this was, but there's no doubt in my mind anymore that this is what mommy feels for you! It's not something I can really explain or put into words, but no matter what you ever do in your life, I will ALWAYS love you no matter what.

Imperfection is okay - You see that mess sitting over there? And that little bit of snot crusted to your nose? Or that little bit of your lunch stuck to my sleeve because I wiped your face with it? You've taught mommy that life is not perfect and that's okay! You've taught me to look past a lot of little things that, in the past, would've bothered me a lot. Now, I can leave that mess and the laundry can wait because spending time with you is much more important.

Don't judge - Before mommy had you, she had a list of things she swore she would and would NOT do as a parent. You've taught mommy that what works for some, doesn't work for others and to not judge those who do things differently than you.

Enjoy life - Cameron, this is one of the BIGGEST things you've taught mommy this year! Life can be complicated and hectic and busy. This year you taught mommy to enjoy the little things in life. Every day you are that little big bit of joy that just makes me smile from ear to ear. Usually it's your laugh or smile that makes mommy so happy, but other times it's the way you do something or what you've learned. Being your mommy this past year has taught me the joys of being a child again. I get to experience things through you and it's amazing. It's fun to find joy in bubbles! Or the water coming out of the tub spout. Or that Monster's Inc. is the best thing on TV!

Cameron, you are such an amazing little boy. Thank you for being ours and for teaching mommy many things that no one else could, in the way you have.

Happy birthday my big ONE YEAR OLD.

Mommy and daddy love you more than all the stars in the sky and to the moon and back.

Love,
mama

11 months gone in a flash..

Kristen sent me a picture of Cameron this morning when I got to work. It was a picture of him sitting by the trash can holding my drink cup from last night and trying to drink out of it through the straw. He had stood up, gone into the trash and found a cup to drink out of. Just a day before, he got mad because I put locks on the cabinets to keep him from climbing in and tossing stuff out. He pulled on the cabinet a couple times before he realized it would only open an inch. He then decided to look over the top and found the lock and started trying to push it down to open the door. This kid is SMART! In 11 months this child has gone from a tiny little log that I could hold in my hand and forearm and turned into a kid. I guess I never expected it to happen this fast. He has developed so much personality. He's a very happy, silly kid. He knows what he wants and what he doesn't and he isn't afraid to tell you. He looks at you intently trying to understand what you're saying to him and he mimics your expressions perfectly. It's incredible.

I often think about the future and who I'd want C to be like. What qualities I'd want him to inherit from both of our families. Most of all I want him to be respectful and a gentlemen. Open doors and be polite. Be honest and have integrity. I think between his grandfathers he'll have those covered. All 3 of them are very smart and I have a lot of respect for. I know that they'll spend a lot of time teaching him right from wrong. My grandfathers have been huge influences in my own life and I want nothing more than for him to have those same cherished relationships. His grandmothers will spoil him, I'm sure. Heck, they already do. Hopefully he learns to never take them for granted. Sadly, he'll never get to meet my mom. I can't wait to be able to tell him stories of her and what a loving and generous person she was. I get a lot of my traits from her and I hope to pass those on to him. His Mom. Oh boy. She'll teach him farts and burps are hilarious. I take that back. He already farts and laughs. Not my doing! She has a lot to give him and I can't wait to see how it all works out! She'll definitely be the math tutor. Yes, I do drug calculations on a daily basis for critically ill patients, but I hate math. HATE it. My father and Kristen are math people. They can have it! I digress. More than anything I want our relationship to be something he knows he can always rely on. I can't wait to start having adventures with him and making memories he'll be able to share with his kids someday. I'm excited to be able to teach him the skills I have and the things I enjoy and know, and figure out with him the ones he wants to learn that I don't know. It's just the beginning of a long journey that I'm so excited to be a part of.

In the next 3 weeks we're making our trip to Hawaii for our wedding and not long after that we have C's first birthday! Both will be exciting and a lot of fun. I can't wait to see him go crazy on his cake!

Dear Cameron: Months Ten and Eleven

To my little Monk-Monk:

Well, it’s almost time to write your ONE-YEAR post, but it’s never too late to recap the last two months and let you know how you’ve continued to be a joy and blessing in your daddy’s and my life.

In the last two months you’ve continued to grow physically (you’re HUGE buddy), but you’ve also grown and changed so much emotionally. In the last two months you have fully developed into a little person! You have a personality and boy do you let it shine. You are quite the character.

In the last two months you’ve discovered your tongue, your nose, boogers, fear, and OH-MY-GOD… LIGHTS!!!

You discovered your nose because for the last two months or so you’ve had a runny nose. You’ve learned that you can scrunch up your nose and sniffle that snot in and out and you think the noise is funny! You’ve also learned how to wipe your boogies on your hand… that is not so funny, but rather gross. With the discovery of your nose and your tongue you’ve discovered that you can LICK your snot. Double gross little buddy. You hate the nose bulb, but it’s all I can do to keep you from doing those two gross things (that I’m sure all little boys do!). Now if daddy and I ask you where your tongue is, you stick it out at us. You are so smart and CUTE! You’re newest obsession is lights and pointing and different things and asking “that?” Anytime there’s a light, you point and so proudly say “Light! Light! Light!” Or if we ask you “Cameron, where is the light,” you gladly turn your head upward, point, and say “LIGHT!”

You like to brush your teeth or more just enjoy sucking the bubblegum flavored toothpaste off of the brush. You get SO excited when I bring your toothbrush out. It’s the only thing I can do to distract you long enough to do your hair!

Speaking of, you got your first haircut this month. You poor thing, you hated it! You sat in mommy’s lap and I gave you a sucker to distract you. Because you were SOOO squirmy, the hairdresser didn’t want to use scissors around your ears, so she opted to use the buzzers. Your daddy and I knew you weren’t going to like it, but buddy you were TERRIFIED. You would think by the way you were screaming and squealing at the top of your lungs and kicking and bucking that someone was torturing you. Well, I guess to you, that was torture. You HATE buzzing noises. Either way, your hair turned out adorable and now instead of a Mohawk, you have a faux again.

The buzzer noise brings me to your fears! Oh boy. You have learned fear! Clever boy. Oddly, you are terrified of buzzing noises, bubbles, cotton candy, caterpillars, and silicone koosh-like balls. Why you’re afraid of the most harmless things ever, who knows? I can’t help but laugh when you’re scared. It’s just so darn cute! I can’t get over your cuteness!

In September you got to go on another airplane flight to California to visit your family. You got the spend time with your Grandpa and Grandma Moore, Grandpa Kitahara, and Nana and Papa Rhodas! You also got to see mommy’s old friends Ryan and Analise, and Analise’s little girl Avery. She is exactly two weeks younger than you! You two were so darn cute together! You got to meet your Auntie Amanda and longtime family friends, the Turays. They thought you were just so cute and sweet.

You also got to go to the beach for the first time while you were in California. Your Grandpa Kitahara and mommy took you to Moss Landing after we had lunch at Phil’s Fish Market. You had clam chowder and bread and butter and LOVED it! You’ll be a little foodie like mommy one day. You were the cutest at the beach. You weren’t sure where to go, what sand was, and what to grab at first. It was quite the experience for you. It was a sensory overload for you, and your grandpa and I enjoyed watching you learn and explore the sand, wind, seagulls, seaweed and driftwood.

When we got home, daddy and I took you to one of the last Rockies games of the season. You weren’t too thrilled with it and got bored. We’re hoping you grow up enjoying baseball so that you can be daddy’s little sports buddy!

What else happened this month? We took pictures for your first birthday invitations. You received a box from our best buddies across the pond in England, Amy and Oskar. You got your first pair of big-kid shoes, some slip on VANS!

Little boy, you have grown more than I could’ve imagined you could in two months! You’ve gone from baby to full-fledged little boy! You’ve got an opinion, wants, likes and dislikes. It’s just amazing to me that you are who are! You’re no longer just a baby, you’re big baby with a whole lot of big personality! You’ve blessed us with so much knowledge, pride, happiness, and optimism! Thank you little man for being ours.

Love,
mama

Everything's changing.

The other day I was thinking about how our lives changed over the course of a year and a half. I really had to think about it because what was so foreign last November, is the everyday now.

Before we had Cameron our time was spent much, much differently. Greg and I were both still working full-time, but the way we spent our evenings and weekends was so different to how we go about things day-to-day now.

You can try and prepare yourself so much for the changes that are upon you as a first-time parent. We tried. I tried and I struggled immensely. After Cameron was born I had a hard time accepting "losing us," as I saw it. I cried, a lot. Part of it was hormones going crazy, wild. The other part was just the realization that life as I knew it was going to be completely different from here on out. It didn't help that Cameron was 15 days early and everyone told me I was going to be late! I was not ready for this! I was supposed to have more than two weeks to prepare myself! Soon enough though as hormones and emotions calmed down, I learned to accept, embrace, and LOVE a different "us" as a family of three.

Before we had Cameron, Greg and I saw A LOT of movies. It was (and still is) our favorite date activity (I've saved every ticket stub from the last seven years)! We would see matinees or even late night movies. We'd say "I'm bored! Let's go see a movie we've been wanting to see." When we wanted to get out of the house, sometimes we'd go to Barnes & Noble, get coffees, and sit and read quietly side by side. We spent quite a few (late) evenings at the softball fields while Greg played and I cheered him on with the other wives. Afterwards, it was happy hour. We had a lot of those, yum! On a lazy Sunday we would hang around the house and cat nap as we pleased. Dinner was cooked when we got home from work or the gym and gym time was in the evening at any time. We would make plans on a whim and could never understand what was just "so difficult" for our friends that had children already.

Flash forward to today. My weekdays consist of  waking up at 5:15am to get ready for work. By 6:15 Cameron is awake and ready to go. We hustle to make it out the door by 6:50, drop off by 7, work at 8, pick up by 5, and them home. Cameron's dinner is at 6 and our dinner is whatever we can manage to either a) shove in our mouths while he's sitting still and eating or b) whatever we can manage to make after Cameron is in bed by 8. 7:30 is bathtime and 8 is time for bottle and bed. 90% of the time dinner is AFTER Cameron's bed time, then we sit on the couch, relax, and I'm usually pooped and asleep by 10. (Sorry Greg!)

Weekends are similar, but we schedule our days and events around Cameron's nap times. He's a sleepy kid that LOVES and very much NEEDS his naps. Luckily, he's down to two, but they're usually 2-2.5 hours long. While that gives us time to get things done around the house, most of the time we use it as down time to relax and do something for ourselves!

While I miss being able to up and leave on a whim, plan things last minute, not worry about what time I leave or when I come home, there isn't any place I'd rather be than home with my family. I don't care that I have to change poopy diapers (and get poop on my hand), clean up spitup (from his clothes, or the carpet, or my clothes), change my clothes becasue Cameron wiped his mouth on my for the 10th time, or having a baby whining and clinging to my pant legs (while saying 'ma mamama mama ma'). I love motherhood and all of the changes that come along with it. I know as Cameron gets older it's going to get easier in most ways. I also know that the day is quickly approaching when mom won't be cool anymore and he won't want to need me. I dread that, but I got a taste when he was perfectly fine with letting go with nursing. I'm cherishing every challenging moment (and learnign something new each day) with my little man and couldn't have wished for a better daddy for Cameron. I'm blessed.

Little buddy..

9 months has flown by in the blink of an eye. It seems like yesterday I was rushing home from work to be with your Mom and to meet you. It seems like hours ago that I was holding you and wondering what you would be like when you did something besides sleep and poop and cry. It seems like seconds ago that you couldn't feed yourself and you couldn't figure out how to sit up.

Here I am today wondering when you'll pause and just stay as you are for a minute. You learn new things each day. You're quite the speedy crawler now. You're really hard to keep up with sometimes. On top of that, you've decided that standing up is the way to go. You've also decided that climbing 4 or 5 stairs is fun. It's pretty amazing to watch. I lay on the floor and you crawl over to me and use me like a speed bump. You're quite coordinated for such a young age. You have good balance and you really have learned how to get over or around anything. You like it when I wrestle with you and toss you in the air.

For the last couple of months we've been going to the pool together a couple times a week. You love the water. You love to float and bounce in your inflatable seat. You splash and laugh and make faces. It's fun for me to see how excited you get when you see the pool. I really like those times with you. Usually by the time we get home you're so tired you fall asleep before your bottle is done. I have to carry you upstairs and you rest your head on my chest. It's pretty cool.

Last week we took you on your first hike to Caribou Ranch. You rode around in the backpack with me while we bounced along the trail. You did great. You got a little fussy towards the end of the hike and I had to carry you the last mile or so. You kept sniffing at me and I'd sniff back. You mimic people very well now. You always get this goofy grin when we play those games.

You're an amazing little dude and I can't wait for all the adventures we have in store together.

I love you monkey!